A rare safe space for an often-misunderstood community
Affirming Care for Littles, AB/DL & age players
online in ca • in-person & online in va
Hello, and welcome!
Hiding a secret can be really hard. It's isolating.
Especially when it's about an important part of your life, and you may have little support — or none — from those close to you.
You may have an AB/DL secret — whether it's thinking about it, a 'regular thing,' wondering should I tell or can I get rid of it, my partner is upset... Therapy can help: We explore it together, set goals, and work toward them. You get real support, and you can move forward.
You may have a partner with an AB/DL or Little or AgePlay secret, and it's confusing or it may be affecting your relationship, and you're not sure what to do. You want your relationship with your adult partner, and you don't understand what this is all about. Maybe you're not even sure if you want to understand?
You and your partner have been trying to figure out your relationship and how to manage this. It may be really tough to even talk about it. Maybe you're frustrated: Can this relationship work? Can both of us get our needs met? How do you 'do the romantic part' when AB/DL/Little/AgePlay is a part of your relationship?
I can help you learn to talk about your questions together — without fighting — to figure out how to handle this part of your relationship. You can learn to understand each other and grow closer.
How?? It really helps to have a calm voice in the room! The path forward is about everyone's needs being understood and respected, and working together to meet all of them.
“What if we saw our ways of soothing ourselves—even the unconventional ones—not as weaknesses or problems, but as creative strategies that help the struggling parts of us find safety and move toward where we want to be?
There is a kind of magic in our ability to do that.”
— Dr. Anne Karcher
Things I can help with:
For individuals...
How to understand this part of me?
Should I—or even can I—accept this as part of me?
Feeling guilty or embarrassed or scared about & “putting this on” my partner
How can I stop having these urges & desires? is that possible? or can I control it?
For the partner of an AB/DL/Little person...
Is this an unhealthy behavior or just a harmless quirk?
What’s in it for me to try to understand and accept it?
What are there risks? can our relationship survive?
For partners in an AB/DL relationship...
“The more we try to manage it, the worse it gets! Help!!”
“I’ve heard it can make a relationship better! Can it really do that?”
“The more we try to ‘manage it’, the worse it is!”
- Client Couple
Dr. Anne Karcher
My Approach
There's nothing wrong with you, and you don't need to be "cured."
Finding a therapist who understands can feel impossible. You may have been to therapists and wondered, "Should I tell them? Will it blow up and I'll have to find another therapist? Or will I have to explain everything — and just hope they 'get' it?"
AB/DL/little is not something you chose: it's a unique part of who you are.
Whether you’re dealing with shame, navigating relationships, or simply need someone who gets it without explanation, you deserve affirming care from someone who sees your AB/DL/little identity as part of who you are. That means real support that honors your whole self, without judgment or trying to "fix" something that isn't broken.
Ok, maybe you're not sure what you want? Whether to erase all of this... or... keep the good parts?* Therapy can help you explore what's true for you. However you feel about this part and its needs and desires, we start where you are and sort it out from there.
Let's work together to help you build a life where all parts of you can thrive.
*Actually, you don't have to decide! C'mon in, and let's talk about parts!
This is how therapy works!
My clients often come to me feeling stuck, misunderstood, and disconnected from themselves and others. We work together so they feel seen, empowered, and confident in creating authentic relationships.
Littles and AB/DL
"I have a secret. I finally told my partner, and at first it seemed ok, but now they say it isn't sexy to them and they're not attracted to me when I want to be 'little.' Maybe not attracted to me at all?! I just want them to accept it and support me. I'm so sad! It seems hopeless. Is this going to end our relationship?"
And their partner said: "I love them — but I didn't sign up for this! I said I'd try it, but I'm getting more uncomfortable, and I'm not sure I can stay in this. I don't want to hurt them — but I don't know what to do!"
We talked: first individually with me, and then all together. They learned to listen deeply and be curious about each other's experiences — without feeling defensive, arguing, or shutting down. With time and effort, they learned to "hold steady" (as Dr. Martha Kauppi says) and slow down to give each other the gift of feeling heard and understood.
They realized that certain thoughts and beliefs escalated the way they felt. They discovered they could stay connected, even when it was hard and they had to really work to understand. They began to see new spaces of possibility where they could be themselves and care about each other, too.
One partner said: "This doesn't solve all the problems — but it's so different when we know we've got each other and we can keep facing this together."
Tired of feeling misunderstood?
Common Question
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First off, let's be clear: NONE of this involves actual children. Ok, now that that's settled:
AB/DLs, Littles, and AgePlayers want to BE children for a time to satisfy a longing or need. AB/DL/Little and age regression behaviors and experiences are very individual. They can be a painful problem and a threat to a relationship. For some, it's a nurturing, soothing, anxiety- or stress-relieving tool; for others, it's an identity, a lifestyle, or a way of healing.
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AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) is a unique characteristic involving either age regression to a younger mindset, an interest in diapers, or both. Clinical age regression is often an involuntary response to stress or trauma, but where it "comes from" is not really understood. Some people experience both, some just one.
AgePlay is roleplaying where a player acts out being a different age than their own age. The important thing is not fitting into a label — it's understanding the person's experience and its meaning for them.
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No. While some people's regression relates to trauma, many people's doesn't. AB/DL identity itself is not caused by trauma. We'll explore what's relevant for you without making assumptions about causation.
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Absolutely not. AB/DL and age regression are not mental illnesses that need curing. My role is to support your mental health and help you live authentically, not to change who you are.
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For all things fee & insurance related, please see the fee & insurance page.
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For California clients, I offer online sessions through a HIPAA-compliant video platform. Virginia clients can choose between in-person sessions at my Virginia Beach office or online sessions using the same secure platform.
Ready to be truly Seen and Heard?
Taking the first step can feel scary.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if we'd be a good fit.
No pressure, just a chance to connect and see if my approach resonates with you.
Virginia Beach, VA (in-person & online)
California (online only)